22 Miles and NYC

I have been slacking on my training runs the last two weeks.  I am sure there are silly little reasons why I didn't get up and go out four days a week like I should have, but I don't remember what they were and why. All I know is that I looked at my recorded runs and thought, "My goodness woman, you are slacking!"  There's no point in trying to figure out why I didn't run as much as I should have, instead I need to get my head back in the game and go.  

After my 20 mile run two weeks ago, I felt wonderful physically, but mentally I was in a tough place.  I had worked myself up and got so nervous about the 20 mile run. It ultimately made the nervous feelings about Boston grow bigger.  I met with my friend Ed for a Mental Toughness session.  (Feel free to check out his web page for inspiring words and tips.) He's a motivational speaker and he helps people sort through the mental game.  He works mostly with athletes, but his words apply to anyone. Our discussion was about how thoughts, good and bad, come and go so frequently and we should allow them to flow from one to another without giving too much weight to them. Keeping that in mind helps us to move on from those bad moments when we think we can't do something to the next moment. He said it far more eloquently than that, of course, but I let the idea simmer in my head. I put his theory to the test during a week of terrible PMS and during my 22 mile run on Thursday. In those cranky, raging lunatic women moments I remind myself that these thoughts of slapping everyone will pass soon.  And I really don't need ice cream, chocolates, cake, pie, and cookies all in one bowl.  Well maybe. Okay, I really don't need them at all.   

The 22 mile run was pretty decent.  I am sure it could have been better, but my ego kind of got in the way. The night before, we were at a kids birthday party with pizza and cake.  I had one tiny slice of pizza because I was hungry, but dairy and I do NOT get along so I left it at that. I also did not drink as much water as I should have. The next morning, I mentally prepare myself for the run, keeping in mind Ed's words. The left calf was causing some trouble but it finally settles into the run at mile 10 (yeah, finally) and then guess what? The right calf feels left out so it cries like a little child too. I run along laughing because my calves remind me of my children. You finally get one calm and happy and think you can get some peace and quite when the other one acts up. Oh well, maybe I can run this one out as well. I start climbing a hill, which is difficult enough, when fierce wind starts blowing down on me. I tell myself the universe is preparing me for Boston. This is bound to happen along the way, right? Yeah, that's likely so, NO PROBLEM.  I've got this! I continue on my merry little way, eating buttered sandwiches as I go. That's right, I carry sandwiches with me. Actually, it's the first time. I knew I would be in trouble because of dinner so I thought I'd give it a try and it seems to work. After mile 16, I switch into walk/run mode. The back of my left knee is hurting and I figure interspersing some walking would help. I don't stop at the place I intend to for a water refill as I am not running low. I tell myself I will stop at a place in the next town. When I get there, I can tell I still have fluid and think I can push through. At mile 18 I realize that was a bad idea so I try to ration the rest. The problem with this is that I contemplate drinking anything that might be in the discarded bottles and fast food cups along the road, or possibly sipping the water running along the road. I know, I know. I didn't, but it was so tempting. Nature is on my side this day. Every time I slow down to walk, a big gust of wind comes up from behind and pushes me along, encouraging me to keep going. Finally at mile 20, I run into a bagel shop and grab a bottle of water. Only two miles left, but I NEED it. The last two miles are hell. I have many thoughts of giving up and "I can't do this," but I know this will pass eventually and so I keep moving forward and finally make it home.  22 miles complete.  I crawl upstairs and roll into an epsom salt bath.

Recovery hasn't gone as well as I'd like. The calves have been tight and there's pain behind the left knee. I got a great massage, but I woke up in the middle of the night because I had multiple trigger points firing in the legs and the lower body wouldn't move.  They felt like cement. I know that if I just move I'll be fine. I think.

  

Last night my husband and I spent the evening out in NYC. We walked for miles and I felt fine until after dinner when my left knee began hurting once again. It felt like someone took a bat to it. I have been wanting to run through Central Park, and we planned to do so but I wasn't sure if it was going to be possible. 

My view running around the reservoir in Central Park

This morning I woke up far later than I intended to. Ted said I didn't have to run, but HELLO! WE ARE IN NYC! I HAVE TO! This will be a nice easy recovery jog with Ted. He's just starting to run and wants to go for an easy 5k. I should be able to do that. And off we go. My knee hurts like hell but after a mile it goes away and I feel good.  New York has incredible non-stop energy.  When we get to Central Park, we take in the beauty and the energy of the other runners.  After two miles, Ted heads back and because I am feeling great, I keep going, and going, and going.  Wait, I didn't bring water or fuel, so maybe I should head back. I take a few pictures along the way and say "hello!" to everyone I pass. I think that throws them off. Four of the 20 something people I say "hello" or "good morning" to responds. Oh well, it's NYC and it's still fun and beautiful. 

I thought I kicked this knee pain, but as I write this, I am thinking 7 miles was a bit much after the 22 on Thursday. Listen to your body, Kathy.  LISTEN! 

Please help me with my Running for Research Fundraising with the Massage Therapy Foundation: http://www.crowdrise.com/kathyborsuk .  Every bit counts.  THANK YOU! (In the mean time, I shall keep running.) 

Running with Friends

I last left you with a disappointing 18 mile run two weeks ago.  I chalked it up to not having dinner, lack of rest the night before, and possibly some over training.  So I decided to take that following week off.  The only exercise I did were the burpees required from my 100 day challenge.  The following Sunday I was scheduled for a half marathon distance (13.1 miles).  I got a couple of massages, one specific to my calves and the other a full body relaxation massage.  I did not realize other parts of my body were not functioning properly until Holly applied a little bit of pressure.  Shouldn't I have caught this?! Sunday’s run was EXCELLENT! I felt brand new every step of the way and achieved a personal best time of 2:15:19.  That is just under a 2 minute improvement of a previous best time.  I was ecstatic.

I expected Monday’s recovery run to be painful, but shortly into my run, my calves relaxed and it was smooth sailing.  Thursday I worked on hill training and Friday was the “storm” run.  You know, “Nemo.” I did not work that day and went out later than usual.  During my 32 minutes, I ran through rain, sleet, hail, and snow.  I decided to cut the run short due to the hail pelting my face.  That really stings.  The important thing was that I got a run in. 

Me, Dale, Caroline, Gail

Me, Dale, Kim, Gail

A friend from a local running group asked me to join them on their run today.  Two of the women are also running this year’s Boston Marathon and 16 miles is on their training schedule.  Two others would join us a few miles in.  The ladies are Dale, Kim, Caroline, and Gail.  They would be running on some SERIOUS hills.  I want to run with them, but I am so intimidated.  These ladies have been running for years.  They are REAL runners, not some naive newbie.  They've all run marathons before, multiple ones.  One has even done an Iron Man.  There’s no way I can keep up with their pace. But I decide to just suck it up and give it a try. I did not sleep well and could not eat much of my breakfast because I was so nervous.  I park at a church a couple of miles out from Dale’s house.  Since my plan is 20 miles, I figure I could run to her house, meet up with them, and run back to get those additional 4 miles.  I step out of the car and my toes go numb.  How cold is it? It has to be in the teens.  It’s at least 5 degrees colder there than where I live.  It’s a beautifully wooded area so I whip out my camera and start snapping pictures along the run.  Yes, I took pictures.  Why not? I am thinking of taking pictures along the Boston course, so I better start practicing, right? My goal is to finish under 6 hours and HAVE FUN! It IS my first marathon after all, and it’s BOSTON! I want to remember every part of it. 

I don’t know the altitude, but it’s more than what I am use to.  It takes about a mile for my lungs to fully adjust.  (BTW, the highest altitude we were at was 626 ft. SWEET!) The hills are grueling.  More difficult than the hills I run by my house.  Kim charges up those hills like it’s no different than the flats.  The woman is crazy (and by that I mean impressive), but her doing this forces me to try to keep up.  The pace is a little faster than I like on the hills, but this is going to improve my performance, right? So I try my best to keep up.  We pick up Caroline and Gail along the way and I think, “Oh thank goodness, I can slow down now.”  We did, a little, but not by much.  That is okay though, I am adjusting to the speed… I think.  I go to take a sip of my water and guess what? The water is frozen.  Dear CamelBak, Your “Thermal Control Kit for extreme winter and summer conditions” must not mean anything under 20 degrees F. Thank you.  I tuck the hose into my jacket hoping to thaw it out.  Apparently, I do not generate enough heat while running to thaw out frozen water.  So Caroline gives me some of her water and Dale puts the hose in her shirt for a while, which works.  Even my Gu is hardening.  My lips feel dry so I try to apply lip balm.  Have you tried to scrape frozen beeswax on your lips? It’s supposed to be soothing.  Today it split my bottom lip. 

This is only the second time I have run in a group.  It’s nice to chat with the ladies along the way.  I learn which underwear is the best to run in, ways to hydrate, and post-run fuel.  I get t a lot of useful advice on running a marathon.  In our conversations, I discover the age of these ladies.  WHAT?!  I am WAY off. Could it be that running stops aging appearance at the age you start running? I am totally okay with that!  Seriously, I bet none of you could guess their ages.  (Don’t worry ladies, I won’t tell.)

After Caroline and Gail depart, I tell Dale and Kim to go on ahead with their pace, as I would be slowing down.  I run alone for the next few miles.  I analyze my body for aches and pains and then my mind wanders as usual.  Then that one hill that I already climbed to get to Dales house appears.  STEEP.  I did not like you the first time! Have I told you I don’t like hills? I start to doubt myself and question why I am doing this.  (BTW, this is also when my stomach starts growling angrily.  Hunger = cranky and negative thoughts.)  I work on changing my perception.  I think about all the reasons why I am running.  For me, yes, but also to set an example for my family.  For the American Massage Therapy Association, whom I am representing.  For the Massage Therapy Foundation, whom I am raising funds for.  The MTF; Paul pops into my head.  He is coordinating the MTF Boston Team and one of our contacts.  I joke around and call him a slacker because he isn't doing a training run.  (You know, just to see what it’s like).  I imagine him just waking up now, eating some bacon and eggs with his feet up on the table, while watching some silly Sunday movie like the Notebook.  I picture him looking at the time and letting out an evil laugh and he thinks of the MTF team members out there logging long training miles.  A puppet master.  It irks me enough to push my way up that hill.  At the top I yell, “Take that puppeteer! Now give me BACON!”  No bacon, so I down another Gu.  I have no idea what time Paul wakes up, or even if he eats eggs and bacon.  I doubt that he sees us the way I described, but these are just the crazy thoughts that run through my head that give me the edge I need to work through those moments of doubt.  Another mile later, Dale and Kim are heading in my direction.  Yeah! They show me Dales house and head in while I continue for two more miles.  My legs are now rebelling.  My thighs feel like tree trunks and my calves and beginning to seize. I alternate between running and walking.  On the way back to Dale’s house, I glance at my time.  I am 10 minutes from hitting the 4 hour mark.  Could I really get a personal best for my 20 mile run? I sprint as best I can until I my phone announces 20 miles.  I DID IT! 3:51:50! I beat my previous best time by 8 minutes and 59 seconds!

Thank you ladies for inviting and welcoming me on your Sunday run.  I feel incredible and you contribute to that.

Please help me with my fundraising goal of $5,000 for the Massage Therapy Foundation: http://www.crowdrise.com/TeamMassageTherapyFoundation/fundraiser/kathyborsuk
THANK YOU. 

I Must Be Crazy

“If it doesn't challenge you, it doesn't change you.” My friend, Christine, says this all the time.  She reminds everyone she trains and inspires of this on a regular basis.  She is right.  My running experience has been a series of challenges. Starting to run was a big challenge, and then there are little ones like pushing out another half mile when I am ready to call it a day.  It has been a cold week for many across the country.  To some of you, 10 degrees may be nothing, but that is not normal for New Jersey.  Tuesday and Wednesday, that’s about where we were and with the wind, it made it feel like 2 degrees Fahrenheit.  I did not run at 5:30 A.M. like I would normally do.  I had the week off (sort of), so I decided to wait until later in the day when it was a whole 2 degrees warmer. I threw on my hat, turtle fur, layers, and jacket and stepped outside.  MAN IT WAS FREEZING.  But I knew I would warm up, so off I went straight into the headwind.  It would be easier to run with the wind to my back, but I decided just before I stepped out the door that I was going to challenge myself to do something out of my comfort zone.  Ironically, Kelly Clarkson’s “Stronger” came on just when the wind was at its roughest.  Feel free to call me crazy, but it was fun.  Now 20 degrees isn't so bad anymore.  

And then there was Sunday morning’s 18 miles.  This should not be a problem.  I have done 18 miles successfully a couple of times before.  Today should be no big deal, but I was wrong.  I have been waiting for this run for a good month.  I mapped it out and drove the distance many times from my house to Main Street Hopewell and back.  There are a few hills; one particularly long and steep.  I imagine that to be my own "Heartbreak Hill."  The run to Hopewell was good.  I was feeling great and things were going well.  I tripped a couple of times and twisted my ankle slightly, but I was still going strong.  Just at the turn around point, I got hungry and I realized that I had not been fueling up during the run.  I also remembered that I did not have dinner the night before...which is never a good thing before a long run.  But anyway, I downed a gel shot and kept on going.  As I ran up the hill I contemplated which type of hill would be easier.  Long, steady incline, or short and steep? Which would you prefer? I still haven't decided yet. I am still learning how to run both.  But after the hill my left calf and shin began to ache.  No, they hurt, but I kept going.  I can run through the pain.  What doesn't kill you makes you strong, right? We shall see.  

My pace slowed down, but I was still moving.  Then at mile 15 I switched to a run/walk.  I really should have had dinner last night and gone to bed at a decent time.  Note to self: TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF! Then at mile 16, I mentally lost it.  Ever cry and run at the same time? It's not very pretty.  There was an old man on the trail who got really concerned that I was bawling.  I told him I was fine and his response was, "it's never fine when a girl cries!"  Sweet old man.  He wanted to call someone to come get me.  I considered that many times during the run, but I knew if I could push through I would be fine.  I thanked him for his concern and told him I was going to get my 18 miles in today no matter how long it took and if I had to crawl the rest of the way home.  When he heard what I was training for he laughed and told me I was crazy.  So, maybe I am, but I can't wait to see how this challenge changes me when I cross that finish line.  Remember everyone, "If it doesn't challenge you, it doesn't change you."

....Please help me reach my goal of $5,000 to raise money for the Massage Therapy Foundation:  http://www.crowdrise.com/kathyborsuk.  THANK YOU. 

Music Takes Me Places

I can't believe it's been over 3 weeks since my last update! What in the WORLD have I been doing besides training for a marathon?! We had quite a few parties.  New Year's and a few birthday's...like my daughter's and then my 34th.  Wait no, I'm 36.  I think. Sorry.  I am not one of those people that fakes my age, I just stopped keeping track after 30.  Thirty starts the decade celebrations, which means I don't have to celebrate until I'm 40.

But I have been running a lot.  I have logged 156.83 miles since the start of my marathon training.  I challenged some friends to running the most miles in January. (I am winning by the way...don't tell them.) I issued this challenge to make sure I would get out there on those ridiculously cold and dark days.  It's working so far, and I am pretty sure it pushes some of my friends to run a few more miles then they would have. I also issued the 100 day burpee challenge to family and friends as well.  We are on day 19.  Don't know what that is? Google it and give it a try.  It's a love/hate thing.

Last Sunday I had one of my best runs ever.  Half-marathon distance of 13.1 miles.  It was a cold and extremely foggy morning.  I threw on my reflective vest and put the Bond Station on Pandora.  I haven't listened to them in forever and it was perfect.  Along one of the park trails I could see a shadow up ahead.  It definitely wasn't human.  It was too big to be a bear.  I kept on running toward it.  Then like something out of a movie scene, the fog parts and a huge, beautiful black horse passes through.  The music that was playing provided the perfect soundtrack to it's entrance.  It was majestic.

Athletes focus on every aspect of their training.  I am not sure what marathon runners do, but I can't think about running for that long.  Of course, it will take me a little more than twice their time to finish one.  My mind constantly wanders.  I think about work, family, shopping lists, laundry, etc.  Some days I imagine a completely differently world.  Shortly after the horse, the music to James Bond 007 came on and instantly I turned into a secret agent.  I quieted my steps and sprinted from tree to tree.  Okay, maybe that's what ninjas do, but I think you get the idea.  Next I was William Wallace, Jack Sparrow, Trinity, Pocahontas....and that gave me an idea.  What if I just started running around town in a different costume? People do it during races, but how many people do you see randomly running around town as cupid, or a superhero? Maybe a clown suit? Don't be surprised if you see an update about that in the future.  But like I said, it was one of the best runs ever.  I didn't reach my personal best, but I came close and I felt great.

I am really busy this weekend and won't have time for a long run.  I really need to get it in, so I moved it to Friday.  It was a terrible run.  My calves felt tight and immobile, my feet hurt ,and  I had aches in pains in various places.  The wind was biting cold.  It felt like skiing, except without the skis, snow, speed, and hot chocolate in the end.  Only hours later I discovered that I went out in the wrong sneakers.  How does one do that?! I have been sore since. Great excuse to get a massage!

And on a side note, still no bear.......................................................................................

                                         (My favorite sign along one of my routes.)

Please donate to my cause "Running for Research" with the Massage Therapy Foundation

2012 Resolution Complete

AMAZING! That is the word I am going to use to describe how I feel right now.  I set a goal of completing one 5k race a month for 2012 back on January 1st of this year and today I completed that goal.  I don't think I have ever stuck to any resolutions I made in the past.  I think I may have only made a few, but really I do not remember.  I know I have had a few short term goals, like giving up chocolate for lent way back in 1996.  I succeeded the one time I tried it, but refuse to do it again.  (Ask my family and business partners what I am like when I try to avoid chocolate.  "Nightmare" may be a good word.)  I made it all the way though the 100 Day Burpee Challenge and gained some nice looking arms and posture from it. (Maybe I should do that again beginning January 1st, 2013.  Who's with me?)  I cannot remember any other consistent goals I have made and achieved.  Certainly not one that lasted an entire year.  This is one I will never forget because it changed my life in so may ways.  Don't worry, I am not going to turn into a blubbering mess and talk about how and why.  I think you get the picture from previous posts.

For those of you interested in which races I actually did and my time, here they are:

Date	Race	Location	Bib #	Time
1/1/2012	Resolution Run	Hillsborough, NJ	158	36:21:35
2/18/2012	Sneaker Factory Hot Chocolate Series #3	Long Branch, NJ	171	31:46:02
3/18/2012	Get Your Rear in Gear	Philadelphia, PA	485	32:20:46
4/29/2012	Montgomery Run with Rotory	Montgomery, NJ	37	32:15:00
5/6/2012	Big Red Race	Lawrenceville, NJ	537	30:00:09
6/3/2012	Girls on the Run	Somerville, NJ	1329	30:33:02
7/30/2012	Running with the Balloons	Readington, NJ	68	30:45:02
8/26/2012	George Wah Memorial	Hamilton, NJ	398	30:47:00
9/30/2012	LiveStrong 5K - Princeton YMCA	West Windsor, NJ	852	29:15:06
10/28/2012	Pennington Get Bookin' 5k	Pennington, NJ	38	28:26:21
11/18/2012	Girls on the Run	Somerville, NJ	1293	29:59:07
12/26/2012	Boxing Day 5k	Hillsborough, NJ	None	29:17:00

I shaved a little over 7 minutes off my time from when I began.  That is certainly something to celebrate.  If you read the post "In the Beginning", you would know that all I wanted to for that race was to be able to jog the whole thing without walking (which I did. Okay, I shuffled a lot, but I didn't walk.)  From there it was just consistent practice. March's race I did with a friend.  She had only run on a treadmill up to that day and was concerned that she would be slow.  I told her we'd stay together no matter how fast or slow we went.  We had a wonderful time and she was amazed at our time.  I knew she could do it.  I loved the May race because they had kiddie races.  The children ran 25 and 50 meters and got medals for it.  (Fostering the love of running at the age of 3 and 5? Maybe.)

The June race was the first time I placed in my age group.  I really did not expect it at all and was set to leave after finishing as we had to be somewhere that afternoon, but my husband said we had to stay.  I insisted there was some kind of mistake, but there I was with a second place medal.  I told him it was because the parents and coaches were running with their young girls but if they had run on their own, I would never have placed.  He told me to shut up and just be happy for my placement.  (Okay, he said it in a much nicer way, but that's how it translated in my head.)  In September I finally broke the 30 minute mark.  That was another incredible celebration.  It was something I had always hope to get to one day and it was for a race that I had to raise money for as well.  Good community cause = double bonus.  The following month I placed 1st in my age group.  Again I was shocked and made comments like, it was a small race, but I was happy.  As Gary says, it's about who shows up, not the whole world.  Then there's today.

Today was the Official-Unofficial Boxing Day 5k Race. (Or is it the Unofficial-Official Boxing Day 5k Race?) What does that mean? Well, in November I looked for races scheduled in December.  The ones I found were on Saturdays.  I work all day Saturdays so those are out of the question.  There were two on a Sunday morning and I figured I would do one of them.  I did not sign up ahead of time because I needed to figure out logistics and make sure I had the money to enter the race.  Of course life happens and next thing I knew I had missed those two Sunday races.  Damn! I was going to sign up for the Peeps 5k Race in Bethlehem, PA, on the 30th, but then I needed to find someone to watch mom and the kids for me during that time.  Someone who was available and willing to drive out to PA with me.  That's when Gary suggested I run the Resolution Run course.  It's a USA Track & Field - NJ sanctioned and certified course.  He was willing to be the official timer and he put a message out to his running group and invited them to run with me.

I thought I would be the only one running this thing and then I saw someone in running gear.  Then another, and another.  I knew a few of the runners and others I did not.  Next thing I knew, there were 12 of us.  Twelve crazy nuts (and I mean that in the nicest way) standing there in 28 degrees of cold ready to run.  Most of them were wearing boxers.  Boxing day, wearing boxer shorts, get it?  Wish I knew they were doing that, I would have gladly been uncomfortable with boxers crowding my crotch as I ran as well.  I assumed they all knew each other, but they did not.  They greeted each other and then yelled, "Wait where's Kathy? We're doing this for her!" I wish I could remember all of their names because they were so nice.  They ran along with me and one another chatting as if we were already friends.  Then one runner introduced himself to another and they shook hands.  How does one do that while running without tripping? Why are they making me set the pace? Which way are we supposed to go again?

Funny side note on the pace....Gary told them I would be running an eleven minute pace.  I told him that was my pace because it was and is my marathon pace.  I didn't realize he was asking about my 5k pace.  Plus, I always get all anxious and fidgety at races that I just take off.  (I know, not the smartest move, but I can't help it.)  In addition, I felt like I had to run faster because they are all experienced runners who probably want to run faster.  (It's what's in my head, people.)  So to the gang, please do not be upset with Gary, it was completely my fault.  I was overly excited about the turn out, and the idea of finishing my resolution.

I have to say thank you though for the support I received.  Everyone was so encouraging.  They let me lead and then take off near the end.  When I started to slow down, they kept pace along side me telling me that I could do it and to sprint to the finish.  Then they held back and let me cross the finish line first to the cheers of my mother and children.  Gary presented me with a trophy for completing my 2012 Resolution.  You may be able to see in the picture it says "Hunterdon Half- 1st Place Age Group Male." It's from his Hunterdon Half Iron Sprint Triathlon.  He recycled it just for me.  So sweet.  And thank you to Gary for giving up his Wednesday morning to help me complete my goals and providing consistent guidance.  I have never run as a group before.  I am always intimidated by group runs.  Not really sure why.  I think I am afraid of letting people down when I can't make it to a scheduled run, or that I would hold the group back.  Today showed me that I really should reconsider that notion.  It was so much fun to run with others.  Chatting with others distracted me from my pace.  I knew I was pushing it, but it was still comfortable and I needed that push.  I also learned that I am not the only one getting aches and pains in my calves and that maybe I should change the insoles of my shoes.

I am thrilled to have completed this resolution with the support of family and friends.  I think for 2013 I will resolve to try one new thing a month and see where it takes me.  After all, I am headed to Boston all because I decided to run and then complete an application for something I thought would never happen.  Jump in with both feet! WHY NOT?!

If you'd like to support me in my Boston Marathon Fundraising Efforts for the Massage Therapy Foundation, please visit my CrowdRise Page.  Every donation is appreciated.

Roller Coaster Ride

It has been quite the emotional week.  After our MTF Team conference call, I was so excited to focus on my training.  I visualized my week to come and was looking forward to the holiday celebrations.  Then I saw the breaking news feed on my phone and quickly turned on the television.  Like nearly everyone, I was shocked and horrified by the devastation that occurred in Newtown, CT.  How could this happen? Why and how could anyone do this?!  I cried as I listened to the news reports and wanted to run out and pick my children up from school and daycare.  I knew they were safe and well cared for where they were, but I wanted to hold them and shield them, as if I could protect them forever.  What would I do once I got them home? They would find out eventually and I would prefer to tell them myself so that I could answer any questions they may have, but I just did not know what to say at that moment.  I thought about how excited Alex and Evan were for Christmas and how they had been asking for weeks to decorate the outside of our home.  I drove to the nearest store and purchased some outdoor lights and decorations.  With the help of a neighbor I put everything up and arranged Andy and Ella the Elves near the window so that it looked like they were the decorating culprits.  When the children returned home, they were surprised and excited to see the colorful lights.  That evening I explained in the simplest terms what happened to the children and teachers in Newtown, CT.  They asked a few questions and expressed their concerns, but they were not afraid to go to school, nor were they afraid of the world.  That evening, we all snuggled in our bed together.

Saturday morning, while at work, I received a message from my cousin that our grandmother had passed.  She was 89 years old and had been falling ill for some time, so it was expected, but still heartbreaking no less.  Between clients, my siblings and I worked on travel plans to get out to Missouri for the funeral later that week.  I spent the next few days working and taking care of holiday errands.  I had a mini-break down Monday morning after dropping my son off to school.  I did not sleep too well and stuck to my training on Tuesday and Wednesday, even if it meant waking up super early to get everything done. 

The funeral was simple and beautiful.  Grandma lived a long life.  She worked hard from a very young age, never giving up when obstacles jumped in her way.  Never showed how tired she was, and never bothered with people’s nonsense.   In her later years, she traveled the world and really enjoyed the life she put on hold for so long.  It was a beautiful tribute, and it was wonderful to reconnect with my cousins, aunt, and uncles.  I had not seen anyone from that side of the family since 2008 for my father’s funeral.  I missed them a lot.  The bright side of this unfortunate trip; I got to have some bonding time with my little sister…who, by the way, is much taller and spunkier than me.  Yes, spunkier.  We also got to share some fresh, hot Krispy Kreme’s with our brother.  Yes, I know doughnuts are not part of my training, but they were warm, gooey, and delicious! Can you blame me for having a dozen?  

Friday morning my sister and I woke up early to drive to St. Louis from Springfield so that we could catch our flight home.  That’s when I discovered that the son of an old high school friend died earlier that morning.  He was only 10 years old.  He had spent the last three and a half years of his young life fighting cancer.  I never met him, but loved to read about him on her Facebook wall.  He seemed like a fun, bright young man who loved so much about life, even before the cancer.  My heart felt heavy as I thought about what my friend, her husband, and her other children were going through.  And yet, there was such an amazing show of love and support from family and friends from all over on Facebook for the family.  From people she’s known from infancy, to new connections. 

I missed my run on Friday.  Life never slows down, regardless of what goes on around you, and so I went about my obligations.  On Sunday I set out for my long run.  The first half was a struggle.  My turn over was slow, my claves tightened, my mind was bouncing from one thought to another, and my heart ached from the emotional rollercoaster of the past week.  I cried on my run.  The last time that happened was about a year ago when I started running from the mess and stress of my life at that time.  By mile seven, I felt better.  My feet moved a little quicker, my calves loosened a bit, my mind calmed down and my heart felt lighter.  I reminded myself that all these things are a part of life and it’s the universe’s frustrating way of teaching us how to adapt. 

It is the last hour of Christmas day.  I think about where I was when I started running.  Life was so different then.  I was miserable.   I think about how far I have come and how I got here.  I lay here with my family, counting my blessings.  I have so much to be thankful for.  I think about my high school friend, my aunt and uncles, and the Newton, CT families.  I wish for their hearts to heal.  I hope they will be able to make sense of it all and find a way to channel these devastations into something positive one day.  I hope one day they can find peace.  I hope the New Year will be better for everyone.  Merry Christmas friends! 

Pink Shirts?

I have been wanting to let you in on my fun running antics for days; however, I have been incredibly busy! Gary (my business partner and Mr. Iron Man) is my coach.  I keep asking him for a training schedule and he keeps saying, "Don't worry, you have time!" Yeah, okay Iron Man, maybe YOU can train for a marathon in 12-14 weeks, but I can't.  So I just did what I normally do and went out three days a week.  If you don't already know, it's dark in NJ, in the fall at 5 A.M.  Normally it doesn't bother me, but Tuesday (of last week) someone or something ran behind me.  I turned around to see who or what it was, but nothing was there.  Maybe it was a deer.  They lurk and frolic everywhere, and don't care for jughandles.  So I kept running when something brushed up against my cheek.  I tried to figure out what it could be; but again, nothing was there.  Maybe I should invest in a head lamp, and while I am at it a nicer reflector vest.  The one I am using from Ikea is floppy and unflattering.

Wednesday I bought a head lamp and new reflector vest. Sexy, isn't it? Really, it's so much better than the old one. (I LOVE EMS! I could spend the whole day in that store.)  By Thursday, I was so excited to use my new gear.  I went out with my light on and guess what? Thick fog everywhere.  The lamp just amplified the dense, white, cloud that surrounded me, so no light on that run.  I don't know if anyone could even see the new reflective vest I was sporting.  Come to think of it, I don't think anyone else was out but me.  I never passed a car on the roads that morning and I never found the two other runners crazy enough to run at 5 A.M.  They both wear head lamps and stylish reflective vests.  For some reason, it looks much better on them. They must be fitness models.

The weekend was whirlwind of children, work, work parties, running, and more work.  Finally by Tuesday of this week, Gary hands me a training schedule.  It was to start that day.  Good thing I already got my morning run in, but what is this? He wants me to run four days a week?  FOUR? Is he nuts?! The answer is yes, but I promised to follow his advice and went back out on Wednesday, incorporating hills into my run.  There's a small hill not too far from my house that the fire station sits upon. When I first started running I could NEVER make it up that hill.  Now I can, but I never attempted to run up and down it before.  This day I charged up that hill four times.  I was pleased with my first two uphill sprints. The third time I had to slow down and by the four try, I ended up walking the last bit of it, so I headed back home after that attempt.  I was happy, but boy did I feel the burn in my glutes the next day.  Yesterday, I was supposed to get some cross training in.  Pilates or Yoga would be nice, but I was too tired to get up at five and I never found the time in the evening.  You would think that I would know by now that exercise is never going to happen if it isn't before my minions wake up.

Today is my secret day off.  Shh, don't tell anyone.  Alex (my 6 year old), had his school holiday concert.  Then I had a conference call with Paul and Ginny from the Massage Therapy Foundation (MTF).  Also, on the call were my team mates Les and Tom.  Everyone seems very nice and excited.  Les has run a few marathons before. Tom sounds like a fitness crazed junky.  That's quite all right with me.  I have no problems with running in their dust.  I think I am going to "tra la la" my way to the finish line in my hot pink MTF team shirt. Yes, hot pink.  No, it's not really the color we will be wearing; just merely an entertaining suggestion from the only female runner on the team.  It's also what I am going to imagine what we are all wearing every time I visualize the marathon.  What are YOUR thoughts on the pink team shirt? I'd love to know.  Can't you just see Les,Tom, and I in hot pink shirts? I can!

Well, it's time to help our shelf Elves decorate the house before the minions come home.  In the mean time, I'd really appreciate it if you could help with my fundraiser: http://www.crowdrise.com/kathyborsuk.